In some of my previous posts, I have
commented on the issue of getting your kids to clean their room and how we
should apply our energy to controlling what goes in that room, rather than
demanding that they keep it cleaned. But
if it is too hard for you to ignore the messy room, there are some other things
you can do as the parent to encourage your children to clean their rooms.
Let’s say your child or teen wants to have
friends over to play or hang out (depending on the development phase of the
child), because having friends over is a privilege and not a right, you can now
say, “I am willing to cooperate with you and allow you to have your friends
over when your room is picked up (or organized). You are willing to cooperate with them if
they are willing to cooperate with you.
Let’s examine another issue that should be
your concern… too much stuff! If they
have too many things in their room, it is time to simplify and thin things out.
You can control what goes into the room, especially if their room is full of
toys. You want the bedroom to be
designed to have as few visual and auditory distractions that keep them from
becoming a peaceful child. It should be
a refuge for them to go to, to just be by themselves. My wife and I have had so much pleasure
watching our teen go to her room, spending time drawing, writing, coloring,
playing her guitar or viola, or just being a girl, not wasting time on the
Internet, watching television, or worrying about what everyone else thinks,
absorbed by Facebook.
A parent asked, “What if I don’t have the
space for a child to have their own room? I have an 8 year old and a 3 year old
and they have to share a room? The younger child sets up blocks or small toys
and wants to leave them that way, and the problem is that they are in the way
of the other child. My husband says she has too many.” I replied to this parent
with a question, “Is there any way that you can rethink and set up your small
apartment so that there is a zone or area for the younger child to play that is
not in the shared space?” Play areas are
often better set up outside of the bedroom, using whatever you can find to
partition off a section for each child to have for their toys. It’s not ideal because it robs us of having
that other space for us, but when you’re in a situation with small quarters,
you still have to raise children. The
day will come when you’ll have the space you’ve always dreamed of having.
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This is an excerpt from Bill Corbett’s new
eBook, “10 Little-Known Facts About Kids That Will Change How You Parent
Forever!” Download the book today for
just $4.99 by going to http://store.payloadz.com/go?id=1044394.
Bill Corbett is the
author of the award-winning parenting book series, LOVE, LIMITS, & LESSONS:
A PARENT'S GUIDE TO RAISING COOPERATIVE KIDS (in English and in Spanish) and
the executive producer and host of the public access television show CREATING
COOPERATIVE KIDS. As a member of the American Psychological Association and the
North American Society for Adlerian Psychology, Bill provides parent coaching
and keynote presentations to parent and professional audiences across the
country (http://www.OnlineParentCoaching.com). He sits on the board of the
Network Against Domestic Abuse, the Resource Advisory Committee for Attachment
Parenting International, and the management team of the Springfield Parent
Academy.
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